


Not an Illness

by jacquelee



Series: Writer's Month 2020 [9]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25807594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: Mona reflects upon her new reality and what it truly means that there's something in her that she can't control.
Series: Writer's Month 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861585
Kudos: 2
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	Not an Illness

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Writer's Month 2020](https://writersmonth.tumblr.com) for the Day 9 prompt Illness.

After the initial shock of seeing Konane die, of having a vague but at the same time extremely vivid memory of turning into something else and ripping the agent who killed her friend to shreds with her bare hands, or rather claws, Mona couldn't help but be afraid of herself.

Or more accurately, of this part of her. Which she still didn't understand. She assumed it had something to do with Konane wounding her, it wasn't like she was unfamiliar with werewolf stories – the opposite really, she had devoured far too many of those. But now that it was quite likely that she was living a story like that herself, it felt far too real, far too scary. 

She knew Konane had never wanted to hurt her, that it had been an accident, but all the same, she couldn't help thinking of this new side of her as bad. In a way, it was like an infection, an illness. Her body was doing things she never wanted it to do, without her being able to control it. 

It was eating away at her, especially being too afraid to share this with anyone, even the Legends who had been nothing but helpful – though not particularly kind at times – to her and whom she knew she was putting in danger by not telling them. By keeping from them that at any given moment, she could turn into a rage monster, like she was the Hulk or something. Just less green. At least she thought so. 

When Sara exploded on her and she ran away, she had every intention to just lay low, find a way to live her life in the 1970's (as much as that sounded horrible) and stop being a bother to everyone she met. Especially to not let herself get angry enough again to kill someone. The memory was still engrained in her and she never wanted to have to experience that again.

But then the agents came in, saying all those awful things about Konane, and she got angry, her new side coming out without warning. This time, it lasted much longer, but it still felt like her body was doing things without her control, without her input. Only when Sara was able to calm that side of her down and then promised to help her was she able to change back. 

It was still scary to know she could change like that at the drop of a hat. Or more like at the mention of something that made her angry. Charlie was trying to convince her that it was a good thing, a great thing even, that she wasn't a monster, but Mona had a hard time believing that.

Especially when the first thing she did after she got angry enough to change again was to throw Charlie across the room. She hadn't wanted to do that, but the urge to lash out, to destroy everything in her way to get to the object of her anger was too strong. And then she finally did get there, was confronted with the woman who had made her believe in romance, in happy endings, and the only thing she did was agreeing with her. 

It took the wind out of her completely. It was as if the monster, Wolfie, as she had dubbed her now, was suddenly pacified, calmed by the knowledge that Jane hadn't actively harmed Mona, hadn't wanted to hurt her. 

After that she started to understand that side of her much better and started to get control over when to shift and when to subdue her anger enough to not let Wolfie out. But she also learned that the other her could be an ally, a friend even.

She realized it was not an illness at all. It was part of her, a part she could very much learn to appreciate. 

She was not alone anymore and that was a good thing.


End file.
